I never wanted children until I really fell in love with Andrew. I would tell friends and family (with great gusto) that I did NOT have any desire WHATSOEVER to be a mother. All I saw was what children would subtract from my life, admitting I was too selfish for the gift of parenting. I’d say finding the right person had a huge deal with my heart changing (who could NOT want to repopulate the earth with little Andrew Mindy’s?),but there also came a moment where the truth of legacy sank so deep into my spirit and mind that it reconditioned everything about how I make my decisions.
Once Upon a time Andrew and I were driving past fields and fields of South Carolina peach trees. It was only our second time visiting, but we’d had a great weekend in the Presence of the Lord. I watched field after field of peach trees go by when I heard Yahweh so loudly speak to my internal world,“If you would choose to root yourself here in THIS soil, then a little seed will become a thousand, and your fruit will outnumber what you see in these trees.” My mind raced with thoughts of my personal destiny and souls and miracles, but I was immediately hushed. There was a different invitation blowing in the wind and I’d have to follow Him to find out what.
One night, a year or so later, I was sitting on the floor in that tiny SC chapel during an amazing outpouring of His Spirit. A man I call Apostle prophesied that some of us were sowing our personal destinies in that moment. That is exactly what that weekend was for me; April 24, 2017. He shared with us that the level of our willingness to be a seed is in direct relation to the expanse of our legacy, fruit, and reach. Suddenly, the weight of having to fulfill the numerous prophecies on my life. It’s never been my job to make something happen. What if I’m just the seed that starts a whole new breed of people that live lifestyles unlike anything we ever knew growing up? What if I’m seed in order that my children can be “he who is praise given in undivided union”? What if I am just like Abraham and He is promising descendants that outnumber the stars?
It was on that night those first words He spoke, passing those peach trees, become revelation to me. The thing about seeds is that they have to be willing to be buried and hidden. Only when they are buried can they “become a thousand” more seeds within fruit on the tree. Only when they embrace the dark earth can they grow into something others can eat from. I didn’t see then that He was sharing with me such a bigger dream. God’s dreams are so big they can’t be confined to one generation. Instead they spill over and go on and on and on until Zion. Even the prophecies we call our own were always meant to be eternal and to live on beyond us. After all, when He speaks, if it’s really Him, it remains. It was like the moment He took Abraham out to look at the night sky, He was pointing out the trees. For Abraham it was stars, for me it was seeds, but the message was the same: our decisions affect the next generation.
Because if it doesn’t continue, what’s the point? We don’t need another star preacher, we need seeds. We don’t need itineraries, we need present fathers. It is more counter-cultural to be a hidden seed, sowing your dreams into the little ones in front of you and the generation around you, than it is to trade their souls for your ministry. Seeds have to die a thousand deaths, buried where no one can see them…but He sees. Are His eyes enough? If we’re planting a new Eden, someone has to start the process beneath the soil. So, if all I do is sustain devotion so that my son can grow up to be even more devoted, then it will have been a life well-lived!
Like Abraham, I immediately thought of my own condition (what!? have a baby?), but my name was changed in that moment, and I knew my new name,”mother,” was more powerful than the name “revivalist” ever could be. I became convinced that preaching to my sons heart is more fruitful than preaching to stadiums. I’ve learned that reformation looks much more like the slow, steady raising of a child than a megaphone in the marketplace. Reformation is steady, sometimes silent, and hidden before it’s ever known around the world. So, maybe I will or maybe I won’t start an art school, but I know I will create the most amazing homeschool curriculum for my son that will fill him with endless wonder. I know I will raise him to be a creative thinker and inventor. Maybe I will or maybe I won’t speak on platforms, but I will speak over him as I rock him to sleep and in the mornings as we open up all the blinds together. Maybe I will or maybe I won’t write a best-seller, but I know I will tell my children stories that change the way they think about the world around them. Maybe I will or maybe I won’t go to Africa, but I will cultivate a hunger in my children to pray and go to the nations. Maybe I will or maybe I won’t become an artist, but I will paint and play with my son, giving him a life that reminds Him of Heaven. Maybe I will or maybe I won’t…I just will hear and obey, all while keeping legacy in mind.
Abba, thank You for this memorial stone of legacy. I lay it here, golden and alive, knowing this changed everything. With joy may we sow our lives for the next generation, knowing that in the sowing, we will reap fields and fields of fruit that they may eat. May we do all you’ve put in our hearts to do, not from a place of striving and ambition, but in desire to leave behind a path worthy of following. Awaken your bride to the necessity of legacy, and may the hearts full of personal destiny be turned to a greater way: the path of one sowing his life that others may live. I pray also for those parents wondering if they are truly making a difference in the earth. Free their hearts to see that they are never “just” dad or “just” mom, but that they have been entrusted with the greatest dream of all!