Among the many encounters that I’ve had in South Carolina, I know I was was sent for one. It was a particularly vulnerable night for me, but so significant it can not be overlooked. It is of itself a memorial stone because it marked my story forever. I gladly refer to it as the night the Ancient Gates in me opened up wide. That whole weekend felt hand-fashioned for me as if the Lord was coming after me directly. I had been struggling with being vulnerable. Like, really struggling. It felt like even with the most basic of things, like sharing my day, I was trapped inside myself. Words felt like they weighed 200 lbs and just sat heavy in the pit of my stomach. Sometimes I’d sit in silence and just cry when people would ask me questions, even my closest friends. It may sound ridiculous, but I was trapped in the lie that my words weren’t worth saying. I placed my silence like a guard around my heart and made the key impossibly difficult for other people to find. But I was sick of it and remember weeping, asking for the Lord to help me.
That Friday night the speaker began to speak to the room, pulling out words that seemed copied right out of my own journals. He shared about how he felt there were people in the room struggling with vulnerability that were going to get unlocked tonight. Shocked that the Lord would answer my prayer so quickly, I was hooked on every word. He pointed his leadership team toward some individuals to pray for them and I watched with hunger as they began to encounter that unlocking. Instead of feeling joy in that moment, I felt provoked. “Seriously, Lord? NO ONE can be struggling with this more than me. Like, seriously!” Regardless of my frustration, I kept saying all I knew to say, “I can’t do this on my own. You’re going to have to carry me over this threshold. I surrender. I yield. I can’t do this on my own…” I was convinced that there were realms and worlds locked inside of me that needed out, and even great ones that I needed INTO.
The next night, October 1, 2016, I felt like I would burst from the great desire I felt. I was literally shaking with desire for more. I wanted ALL the Lord made available for us on this earth, but I knew nothing I did would bring me into those places. This was about a YIELD. I continued to pray over and over, “Lord, carry me there.” As the message went on I felt overwhelmed.Every word felt like an arrow formed and fashed for the locks in my heart. They pierced me like keys. My spirit, soul, and body all in one unified cry were reaching to the Lord. The world around me truly grew dim. Then, a man I call Apostle placed his hands placed on my back and I felt sent into a superior reality that never ended. I didn’t know if I was in Spirit or body or somewhere in between. There are still things that I saw and heard that night that are still mysteries being unraveled. My body shook under the weight of His goodness and it still happens to this day when I feel that same weight of glory, especially when He’s bringing me into new territory. It’s as if with every movement I’m breaking through another layer of a dimension. It was an all-encompassing encounter. Even more than the weight, I felt the unlocking. I felt the Ancient Gates in me opening up wide.
We are the Ancient Gates. When we open up, we allow the King of Glory to come in (and out) as He pleases. These Ancient Gates will open up realms of Ancient Things. There is no need to fear these encounters! He is a good King and He longs to share His Kingdom with us. As sons and daughters, both earth AND HEAVEN are our inheritance NOW. For me, that night initiated encounters with Abba that I thought were only reserved for Heaven or the obscure elite, but the Bible is full of otherworldly encounters and I will not stop with the sedentary ones the Church at large may be settling for right now. You need not fear stumbling into demonic delusions or “new age”. You won’t find yourself there unless you are looking for it…and feeding it. And with mothers and fathers and apostles and strong brothers and sisters, it’s not even an option! Family and government are SAFETY. He is a good guide and His children know His Voice. His Spirit is trustworthy. Besides, much of what the world has claimed as their own are actually just perverted mysteries of the Heavenlies. I long to know their original intent, don’t you? Those in covenant have nothing to fear.
This Memorial stone marked a change in the way I experience Yahweh. It took “eternal life” off the faraway pathway of “when I die,” and placed it in my hands, saying, “The kingdom is at hand…now.” We can have as much of the King and His Kingdom as we come into agreement with. We are co-heirs! How much has the church forfeited because they are waiting until they get to Heaven to experience something? I now believe some wild things…scandalous things…about the gospel and its goodness. Just maybe we can time travel. Maybe we can walk in other dimensions. Maybe we can see angels. Maybe He loves me like He loves the son. Maybe we can see Him face-to-face. And no, we don’t have to die to do so. So, open up, you Ancient Gates! Live by way of the Ancient Edicts. Stop at nothing short of “all.”
Sweet child of mine, this memorial stone is the reason you were seeing angels before you could fully talk. It’s why you are dancing in realms beyond the doorways of the worlds I walk in. It’s why you can see and hear without doubt. It’s why you are fearless and full. It’s why you fold your hands and ask to pray, without mama ever instigating. May the line between this world and His be forever blurred. I am forever grateful.
Yeshua, may our gates open to Your gate. May the deep in us cry to the deep in You, settling at nothing less than the real thing. Carry us over thresholds of logical thinking and shadowy lies that keeps us trapped in old paradigms. Teach us to give in to the provoking encounters. Teach us to lean into the mysteries. Guide us ever-nearer to that all-consuming Being called Love, knowing that when our name is Beloved, there is no where we can not go. In Your Name, Amen.